Time to Harpoon a Whale

September 16, 2008 | Comments (0) | by Arcturus

Since CC Sabathia was traded to the Sausage Slingers in Milwaukee, he's made 13 starts, winning 9 of those games without suffering a loss. The Brewers are 12-1 in his starts. (Guess who delivered the 1 loss?). His ERA is a measly buck fifty-nine. He has 6 complete games and 3 shutouts. He has 102 strikeouts in 102 innings pitched. He won NL Pitcher of the Month for July and August, and Pepsi Clutch Performer of the Month in August. He's hitting .256 with a homerun and 6 RBIs since joining the Brew Crew. Not Zambrano-esque, but pretty damn good for a pitcher who spent his entire career in the AL. He ain't got a no-hitter, though. Guess who does. Plus he took the periods out of his first name. Pretentious asshole. In short, Sabathia has been everything the Brewers had hoped he would be and more. He's probably the only reason those beer swillers are still hanging around in the playoff hunt. So of course, I hate his guts and if you're a Cub fan, you probably do, too.

That's why I am personally placing a bounty on the head of CC Sabathia. He's the ace and chief punk on that Milwaukee team. A hundred bucks of my own money to the first guy who really nails that creep. Are you listening, Cubs starters? How about you, Cincinnati? Pittsburgh? Who wants to be a man and take this guy out? Personally, I'm betting on Ted Lilly. His attitude's right. Kinda reminds me of this guy:

Ryan Dempster gets the start against Fat Bastard tonight. Don't be afraid to pitch inside when Sabathia's batting, Ryan. You could earn yourself a cool Ben Franklin courtesy of the Poet.