BullGist: Game Fo'

April 26, 2009 | Comments (0) | by The Hundley

Celtics 118, Bulls 121 (OT2)

Alrighty, then. This bitch is evened up. After that stinker of a Game 3 (which the TMS editorial staff deemed "unGistaBull"), it's back on. Oh, Christ, is it ever. After years of Marlboro reds, Jack Daniels, and cocaine, I'm not sure that The Hundley's heart can take much more. Free throws missed in the clutch, baffling set plays coming off of timeouts, matador defense, clutch threes, acrobatic driving layups, freefalls onto one's backs...jeepers creepers! Johnny "Red" Kerr, God rest your soul, I have to think you yelled "DAGGER!!" more than a few times in that big announcer's resting place in the sky.

Once again, it came down to Ben Gordon and Ray Allen. Both former UCONN Huskies, both guarding (or lack thereof) each other, both hitting jaw dropping, breathtaking, boner-enducing shots from all over the court, both missing potential game icing free throws. I've never wanted to simultaneously hug and strangle a player as much as I did Ben Gordon. Good for us, it ended in me wanting to hug him. BG has always had a knack for the clutch, and in a must-win game, he was Big Ben once again. (On a totally unrelated note, I've found that if you do enough blow and Jack Daniels simultaneously, when you look at your shirtless self in the bathroom mirror, through the haze of Marlboro smoke you'll swear that your arms are as big as Ben Gordon's.

Much like Game 2, this was all back and forth action in the second half. Boston's Rajon Rondo has taken over as THE dominant point guard in this series, and arguably one of the best in the NBA Eastern Conference. Rondo posted his second triple dub of the series, trying to fill a big void for the Celtic's injuries and underperformers (that's YOU, Paul Pierce). However, Game 1 hero, Derrick Rose was not to be ignored, as he provided the hustle after loose balls, being a leader, and let's not forget how he carried his team for a large stretch of the fourth quarter. This just HAS to be an epic Game Five as the series goes back to Beantown. I just hope my ticker can hold up.

You Were Huh-Yoooge!
  • Ben Gordon - duh.
  • Kirk Hinrich - though the stat line may not show it, he did an outstanding job defending the bigger and stronger Paul Pierce. We'll generously forgive you for missing two out of three free throws in crunch time. This time.
  • D-Rose - Slowly becoming a leader, and a viable scoring option in crunch time.
  • Rajon Rondo - when he's not making bafflingly stupid decisions, the game seems to come unbelievably easy to him.
  • Ray Allen - I hate to admit it, but I'm now a believer in the popular opinion that Ray Allen Is A Hall of Famer.
You Were an Absolute Munch!
  • Joakim Noah - let's not forget that you were a ninth overall draft pick. Yes, he went for 12 and 10, but that was in 40 minutes of play. Countless, COUNTLESS second chance rebounds were squandered at his expense. He also was -19 for his time on the court. Bleh.
  • Ty Thomas - he's not so lovable when his WTF! jumpshots don't fall. You know what you'll get from him at the line, but his horrible decision to hold the ball and get fouled in crunch time rather than pass to a wide-open D-Rose nearly cost the Bulls the game.
  • Vinny Del Negro - A horrible x's and o's coach. Some of those set plays and personnel lineups were inexplicable.
  • Glen Davis - he lived up to his "Big Baby" nickname with theatrics in the "fight" with Brad Miller, acting like a bitch. I love that announcer Jeff VanGundy called him out.
  • Brian Scalabrine - 18 minutes played, 3 points, 6 fouls, $3.2M per year. If you look up "munch" in the dictionary, there should be a picture of his dumb, gold brickin' ass.