Fernando's Musings From the Taqueria

April 27, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Chaim Witz

Week Ending 4/26

Wet Fart of the Week: Chien-Ming Wang - Avert your eyes if you're pregnant or have a heart condition. 3 starts, 0-3 record, 6IP, 23R, 34.50 ERA, 2K, 1 bad batch of sushi. In 2 of this 3 starts he didn't even make it out of the second inning! Now he's on the DL with a "hip ailment". Yikes. There goes my Asian fetish.

Fantasy Sleeper Makes Good: Andre Ethier, Dodgers - Often times overshadowed by fellow fantasy man-crush material Matt Kemp, not to mention that Manuel Ramirez guy, Ethier has done everything possible on the field to win the heart (and something else) of Alyssa Milano. 5 HR, 20RBI, a .439 OBP and still no Sportscenter love.

Fantasy Sleeper Gone to Pot: Chris Iannetta, Rockies - This poor man's Matt Wieters seemed to have all the pieces in place to break out. Prospect pedigree, half of his games at Coors, a solid second half last year and a few eye opening games in the WBC. Alas, thus far he's been more JR Towles than Matt Wieters, sporting an ugly .128 AVG and 5 RBI. A solid buy low candidate, as the Rockies have played most of their games on the road thus far.

Underrated: Stealing Home - I of course refer to the most exciting play in baseball, as performed by Jacoby Ellsbury with the bases loaded vs. the Yankees on Sunday night, and not the Mark Harmon/Blair Brown baseball romance which failed to capture the heart of America. Mark Harmon, you are no Kevin Costner.

No Perry Farrell, We Will Not Be Caught Stealing: Nyjer Morgan, Josh Anderson, Endy Chavez - The stolen base is a lost art in real baseball and a hot commodity in fantasy baseball. While the higher profile guys like Jacoby Ellsbury, Ian Kinsler, Bobby Abreu (8 already for the increasingly portly old man!) and Carl Crawford are all doing their thing, the leader board also sports names like Flyin' Nyjer Morgan (6), Josh 'The Anvil' Anderson (6) and Endy 'Hugo' Chavez (5). And lest you consider them all one-category wonders, they are all batting over .300 with at least 8 runs scored. Juan Pierre, we hardly knew ye.

At the bottom of my gut, with every inch of me, I plain, straight hate you. But dammit, do I respect you! Albert Pujols - Are you kidding me with guy? No seriously. 20 R, 7 HR, 25 RBI, 1.178 OPS. I just...(blood pressure rising, getting flustered, at a loss for answers)...steroids!

Break Up the...Pirates? - Could this be the year they break sports longest losing streak? 11-7 with great pitching from the likes of Ross Ohlendorf and Zach Duke. Mauling guys like Jake Peavy and Ricky Nolasco without Ryan Doumit and Nate McLouth. Getting clutch play from both LaRoche brothers. It's a start, but I wouldn't sell those pre-season Steelers tickets just yet Pittsburgh fans.

Give These Guys a Greasy Taco:

Adam LaRoche, Pirates - 9/22, 2HR, 8RBI
Kurt Suzuki, A's - 8/15, 1 HR, 7RBI
Rich Harden, Cubs - 2 W, 17 K, 0.92 WHIP
Albert Pujols, Cardinals - 3HR, 11RBI, 3SB
Ryan Franklin's Goatee, Cardinals - 3SV, 0.00 ERA, 3K
Shane Victorino, Phillies - 5R, 9RBI, 1SB
Torii Hunter, Angels - 3HR, 8R, 6RBI
Jordan Zimmerman, Nationals: 2 W, 8K, 2.38 ERA

Give These Guys a Taco Filled with Cilantro:

Matt Lindstrom, Marlins- 2/3 IP, 7R, 94.50 ERA
Johnny Peralta, Indians- 1/18, OR, 1RBI
Edwin Encarnacion, Reds- 3/27, OHR, OR
BJ Ryan, Blue Jays- 1IP, 3R, 1BS, Black Lung
Oliver Perez, Mets - 11.00 ERA, Bad breath, Toxic
Adrian Beltre, Mariners - 3/24, 0HR, 3RBI
AJ Burnett vs. Josh Beckett - 5IP, 8ER each