CoY Battle Royale: The Elite Eight

June 14, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan

At long last the Battle Royale rages on. Only eight men left standing, soon to be four. For a quick update of what has happened thus far, click the full bracket at right.

A quick refresher on how this works.

There is a link in the right sidebar under "Cubs of Yore Battle Royale". Click on that link to load a survey allowing you to vote on all four battles. Feel free to leave comments at the end of the survey as well. Most but not necessarily all comments will be published.

The battles will close sometime whenever. Results will be revealed later that day.

Now let's get the battles started.

#1 Keith Moreland vs. #7 Mark Derosa
  • Moreland has destroyed his competition thus far making easy work of Brian McRae and Damon Berryhill.
  • DeRosa has been a dark horse in the tournament, taking down higher seeds Frank Castillo and Rick Wilkins.
Keith Moreland Facts Review*
  • Nicknamed "Zonk".
  • Hails from Texas.
  • Played with Cubs for 6 years.
  • Acquired by the Cubs from the Phillies in December 1981 along with Dan Larsen and Dickie Noles for pitcher Mike Krukow and cash.
  • Played C, 1B, 3B, LF and RF during his time in Chicago.
  • Once hunted and killed a chupracabra.
  • Led the Cubs in 1985 with 106 RBI.
  • Inducted in the National College Baseball Hall of Fame.
  • Regarding Keith, former teammate Gary Matthews once said, "I don't think I have ever seen a better hitter at the plate when the game is on the line than Keith Moreland."
Mark Derosa Fast Facts Review*
  • Hails from Valhalla according to some Cubs fans.
  • Played with the Cubs for 2 years.
  • During those 2 years, Mark played 1B, 2B, 3B, SS, LF, RF and was also a part-time referee for Aramis Ramirez's cockfights.
  • Mark was signed as a free agent in by the Cubs after having what at the time was a career year with Texas. He came to the Cubs in a head-scratching signing and left the Cubs in a head-scratching trade.
  • In 2008, Mark was seventh in the NL with 8 sacrifice flys.
  • According to his Baseball Reference similarity scores Mark is most similar to Mike Lamb.
  • Married to hot model.

#5 Turk Wendell vs. #2 Dwight Smith
  • Turk used his quirky antics and persona to beat Kevin Tapani and Kyle Farnsworth thus far.
  • Dwight Smith had no problems against Jim Bullinger or Doug Dascenzo because, "Aww know."
Turk Wendell Fast Facts Review*
  • Hails from Massachusetts.
  • Played with Cubs for 5 years.
  • Insisted that the umpire roll the ball to the mound rather than simply throw it to him. If an umpire would ignorantly throw the ball to him, Wendell was known to let it go past him, or even to let it bounce off his chest, after which he would retrieve it from the ground.
  • Wore a necklace made from the claws and teeth of various animals he had hunted and killed. He was the Ted Nugent of baseball.
  • Was incredibly vocal about Barry Bonds and Sammy Sosa using steroids.
  • Beaned Vlad Guerrero in a game once and afterward said, "If he doesn't like it, he can freakin' go back to the Dominican and find another line of work."
Dwight Smith Fast Facts Review*
  • Hails from "Awww shit, you know."
  • Played with the Cubs for 5 years.
  • Batted .324 in 1989 and finished second to teammate Jerome Walton in NL Rookie of the year voting.
  • Sang the National Anthem before Cubs games during his playing days.
  • The Billy Dee Williams of baseball.

#5 Joe Borowski vs. #6 Glenallen Hill
  • Borowski has profusely sweated his way past Derrick May and Rey Sanchez to make the regional finals.
  • Glenallen Hill destroyed his previous two opponents with such ferocity that they have asked to not have their names mentioned any more.
Joe Borowski Fast Facts Review*
  • Hails from your local Denny's.
  • Played with Cubs for 5 years.
  • At age 31 improbably came from nowhere to become a top arm in the Cubs bullpen.
  • Converted 33 of 37 saves during epic 2003 season.
  • With the Indians, Joe led the AL in 2007 with 45 saves despite posting a 5.07 ERA.
Glenallen Hill Fast Facts Review*
  • Hails from the Land of Badass Motherfuckers.
  • Played with the Cubs for 5 years.
  • Hit a HR onto a 5-story apartment complex outside Wrigley Field in 2001.
  • Was named in the Mitchell Report. It remains his most famous mention in anything ever.
  • Not very good on defense; nicknamed "The Juggler" for his defensive ineptitude. Just don't call him that to his face.

#4 Mike Bielecki vs. #3 Steve Trout
  • Bielecki has cruised to victory so far against Luis Salazar and Kevin Foster.
  • Trout shutout Ronny Cedeno before outdueling Scott Sanderson with his down-to-earth good looks.
Mike Bielecki Fast Facts Review*
  • Played with Cubs for 4 years.
  • Shares a birthday with Wesley Snipes and Tim Couch.
  • Pedro Guerrero of the Cardinals robbed Bielecki of the first Cubs no-hitter in 19 years with a home run. Mike was a scant 8 outs away from history.
  • Won a career high 18 games as a Cub in 1989.
  • Traded to the Braves with Damon Berryhill for Yorkis Perez and Turk Wendell.
  • Known to hang in the same social circles as Tommy Buzanis.
Steve Trout Fast Facts Review*
  • Hails from Detroit.
  • Played with Cubs for 5 years.
  • The last Cub to pitch back-to-back complete game shutouts, which were his last games with the Cubs.
  • Helped the team reach the playoffs in the oft-heralded 1984 season.
  • Was no stranger to the occasional burrito-eating contest.
  • This.

Alright, now it's time to hit the polls. You can vote by going to this link, or by clicking on the "Go to Battle" link in the sidebar.

*As always, some of the "Fast Facts" may not be true.