TMS Beer Project: Löwenbräu

June 08, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Arcturus

With the name Saloon included in our moniker, one could surmise that we here at TMS like to drinky drinky. One that would make such an assumption would be correct, thereby throwing out the whole, 'when you assume you make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me' bullshit. We also like to plagiarize each other. In the same vein as the Wrigleyville Bar Project, we are proud to bring you another installment of the TMS Beer Project. The premise is simple: we review beers. Each rating will feature a variety of scores from 1-10 and comments from the bartender. This is a public service damn it. We don't want you to be the sucker who pays $15 for a six pack of some overrated Belgian cat piss. Now, we all drink massive amounts of beer so we know what we speak of. Each of us seem to have a favorite style of beer though. Will we be reviewing macrobrews like Bud and Coors? Oh you bet your Aunt Susie's ass we will. For purposes of this science experiment, and it is in the name of science, those will be the "control" group. Use them as a base line for when we review lesser known imports and microbrews. Without further ado, I bring you our next beer:


Brewery: Löwenbräu AG Germany
Type: Munich Helles Lager

Receptacle: 33oml bottle

Drinkability (1 being Jim Jones' kool-aid, 10 being the nectar of the gods): 10
This is not the shit that Miller brewed in the 70s under the Löwenbräu name. This is the real deal, brewed according to the German "Reinheitsgebot" law. Löwenbräu was the beer that my old man drank while we were stationed in Germany for three years on Ramstein Air Force Base. It's the first beer I remember him letting me taste. (I was probably four or five at the time. We start our youngins off early in my family.) It was good then and it's still good now.

The flavor is smooth with a hint of wheaty goodness for a light, crisp taste. This is not a heavy beer, but it still has a fuller flavor than a light beer. You can taste the hops and it has a bit of a bite to it that I find enjoyable. This is one of my favorite beers to drink, especially with a meal.

Heartiness (1 being fresh mountain spring water, 10 being a pureed British steak infected with mad cow disease): 6 Like I said above, it's got more body than a light beer, but it's definitely not on the robust side. I could probably drink 7 or 8 of these and not feel bloated.

Intoxication (1 being your friend's weird pentecostal grandmother high on Jesus, 10 being Boris Yeltsin on a week long bender in the Crimea): 8 This bad boy boasts a 5.20% ABV, so after three of these the other night I was feeling pretty fine. Of course, after I devoted myself to the Church of V the C, my tolerance levels plummeted faster than GM stock, so I'm probably not the best judge here.

Celebrities You May See Drinking This Brew: David Hasslehoff, Rudolf Schenker, a black-eyed Hitler, my old man.

Affordability ($ being chicklets in Tijuana, $$$$ being diamond encrusted braised lamb shank from a trendy cafe on the Champs d'Elysee): $$$: I paid $7.99 and tax for my six pack of this stuff, which is why I only buy it on "special" occasions. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find it locally in a twelve pack. It's one of the few beers that I could probably drink more than six of in a single sitting.

Overall: 10
Unlike Chip Wesley, I prefer a light beer, especially since my drinking is usually combined with eating. Löwenbräu is far and away my favorite beer because it's a real easy drinking beer that doesn't sacrifice flavor in the process. I could drink buckets of this stuff. Plus it's got that nice nostalgia factor going for it, as it makes me remember volksmarches and some of the beer halls my parents would go to after during our brief stay in Germany. Put on your lederhosen and drink up.