Armed with nothing but a semi-stable DSL connection and a large glass of sweet tea I attempted this day to digest the "Tweets" of the Internets most prolific posters, so into madness we descend.
Oldest Tweet: @LarryKing: Conan just did a bit on me as a "Transformer" -- I love all those late night guys!
Lamest Tweet: @AshtonKutcher: on donner on blitzen http://bit.ly/236c9F
Ashton: Give up on being cool. This image has been on the internet for a long time now. It would be like me Twittering a photo of an LOLCat, they're funny and cute but should be reserved for 13 and 14 year old girls. Sorry.
1: @ParisHilton: http://twitpic.com/8rqcr - Camels are so Cute!
2: @ParisHilton: http://twitpic.com/8rpjy - BFF'S ;) Dolphins rock! So sweet and intelligent
3: @ParisHilton: http://twitpic.com/8rp9e - Dancing with a Dolphin ;)
Swimming with Dolphins, Riding Camels: Sounds like an average day for Paris. Ohh and P.S. Camels are cute, until they spit on you.
1: @THE_REAL_SHAQ: Kevin harts momma so old She watches the History Channel to see if she’s on it. Uh oh Send me your best momma joke I'm waitn lil kevin
2: @THE_REAL_SHAQ: Kevin harts Mama is so ugly Her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. Shaq Bring kevin u wimp, lil wimp lol
Thank God there is some sanity on here, I mean momma jokes are better than nothing. Shaq keep on keepin' it on with the Momma jokes.
Best Tweet of the Day:
@SarahSilverman: Here's a fun tidbit: It actually takes more muscles to make your asshole frown than to make it smile.
Clever, witty play on an old turn of phrase. Well done.
Worst Tweet of the Day:
@MileyCyrus: reading "identical" by Ellen Hopkins. It is deff. in my top 3 favorite books of all time! :) so disturbing but beautifully written.
I describe a distrubing book with smiley faces too. Also there are many better books out there that you obviously haven't seen nor heard of. Please for your sake get a library card, or just buy a bookstore, your choice.