Fernando's Musings From the Taqueria

June 1st - June 7th

Wet Fart of the Week: The Atlanta Braves - I understand why the Braves wanted to call up uber-prospect Tommy Hanson, and honestly, that was probably what was best for the team. That said, to unceremoniously cut Tom Glavine after all he's meant to your organization and after he had done all you could ask for in his rehab starts is kind of a dick move. We haven't witnessed this kind of awkwardness since the Cubs turned their backs on Gracie.

Fantasy Sleeper Makes Good: Ubaldo Jimenez, Rockies - After a couple of Oliver Perez-esque starts to begin the season , Ubaldo has quietly settled down to become one of the more reliable young starters in the NL, racking up quality starts in 7 of his last 8 appearances and fanning 66 a-holes in the process. Play up the Coors Effect cliche and you may be able to get him for a case of Fat Tire and an old Cutler jersey.

Fantasy Sleeper Gone to Pot: Daniel Murphy/Ryan Spilborghs, Mets/Rockies - These two honkeys were the trendy late round sleeper picks in most drafts this year, with visions of Nate McLouth dancing through many an owner's head. Instead of McLouth, now they have images of Mark Kotsay grinding up on their wife while they sit head down at a corner table, the taste of vomit and despair fresh in their mouth.

Don't Shortsell Those Bluechip Stocks: Matt Wieters/Tommy Hanson/Gordon Beckham - I don't know much about the stock market, but I do know that if you have a bluechip stock, the last thing you want to do is sell it at a loss if it doesn't perform right out of the gate. The hype/skeet machine was in full effect for Fatty Matty, Touchdown Tommy and Gordon Gecko and thus far, the initial returns have performed like shares of Enron. Buy now from a panicky owner while the price is low and before they go Google.

More Shocking Than the David Gest/Liza Minelli Marraige: Nate McLouth Traded to Braves - Didn't see that one coming. The Braves get an All-Star center fielder in his prime and the Pirates get...more minor leaguers you've never heard of. To be fair, Pirates GM Neil Huntington at least seems to be trying to build something sustainable for the future by adding some much needed depth and talent to what is arguably the major's worst farm system, but trading the face of their beleaguered franchise doesn't seem like the most prudent way to appease the dwindling fanbase. He certainly has some major cojones, but it will take a few years to see if he actually has the brains to go with em'.

Like the Cubs Bullpen, Magnified and on Cocaine: Arizona Diamondbacks - On Sunday, the Diamondbacks bullpen had a game for, if not the record books, at least the trivia books. In an 18 inning debacle of a game where the D-Backs blew a 6-0 lead, including serving up a game tying 3-run home run to David Eckstein (!) in the 9th, the Rattlers settled down to the tune of 9 innings of no-hit ball to close out their 9-6 victory. I can't decide if that speaks more to the D-backs dominance or the Padres ineptitude, but I'll take the latter for $100 Alex.

The Consistently Underrated Award
: Roy Halladay, Blue Jays - Seriously with this guy. I know he gets the obligatory Cy Young votes every year, but it still seems like he's still overlooked when people talk about the top pitchers in the game. Maybe it's because he's stuck up in Canada, drinking Labatt's with Lyle Overbay and watching Canadian Idol under the covers with Cito Gaston's wife. Who knows? The guy is legit, he's a throwback and he had a beard way before it was cool.

Give These Guys a Greasy Taco:

Clint Barmes, Rockies - 455 OBP, 7RBI, middle finger to Chip Wesley
Ian Stewart, Rockies - 12/23, 4HR, 12RBI
Prince Fielder, Brewers - .533OBP, 8R, 3HR
Jonathan Broxton, Dodgers - 2SV, 1W, 8K
Roy Halladay, Blue Jays - 2W, 20K, 0.83 WHIP
Matt Holliday, A's - 10/24, 7R, 9RBI
Matt Capps, Pirates - 3IP, 3SV, 0.00ERA
Gavin Floyd, White Sox - 13 2/3 IP, 15K, 1.98ERA

Give These Guys a Taco Filled with Cilantro:

John Hanrahan - Loses closer job...for the Nationals...for a second time!
Matt Wieters, Orioles - 2/17, OHR, 0RBI
Jeremy Guthrie, Orioles- 2/3 IP, 6ER, OK
Chad Qualls, Diamondbacks - 1 2/3 IP, 10.80 ERA, 1 blown save, 1 blown guy
Russell J Martin, Dodgers - 1/18, 0R, 0RBI, sweet French name
Jimmy Rollins, Phillies - 6/31, 3R, 1RBI

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