Monday Afternoon Hangover: Wild Card Weekend

10:32 AM | Comments (0) | by Governor X

What, its Wednesday you say? Who cares. As Mel says, its vodka-o-clock somewhere. The best thing about Wild Card Weekend has to be the fact that we didn't have to see the Cowboys, Packers, Colts, or Pats. I hope you enjoyed it while it lasted since we have a Cowboys/Giants matchup this weekend to bore the country to tears.


Seattle 35
Washington 14

This game was so bad for Washington, it caused Joe Gibbs to quit. Or maybe it was that he's 142 yeard old...or that working for Dan Snyder is like hell on earth...whatever. The Redskins did absolutely nothing for the entire first half. Then they came back and actually took the lead in the 3rd quarter before Todd Collins decided to remind everyone why he isn't a starting quarterback in the NFL by throwing a pick right to some no-name Seattle defender. The Seahawks rolled and put up 22 straight points.

Jacksonville 31
Pittsburgh 29

Let me preface this by saying I hate both these teams and couldn't bear to watch this game. The TMS Super Sim Tecmo Wii 2003 2.0 nearly nailed this one. It had the Jags winning 31-28 I think. How did the Jags give up 29 points to a Willie Parker-less Pittsburgh team? Ben Sixdollarburger must have had a good game. Nah, he threw three interceptions. The Jags just aren't as good as you think they are.

NY Giants 24
Tampa Bay 14

Why must every Giants broadcast be three hours of As the Eli Turns? Every thing Eli does is scrutinized and discussed in nauseating detail. Lets be honest, the Giants aren't in the playoffs because of Eli. He blows. They have a nasty defense that has carried them this year. There isn't much to say about this game. It was boring. I can't even think of a Jeff Garcia gay joke, so I'll just close by saying he likes men.

San Diego 17
Tennessee 6

Good thing Tennessee made the playoffs instead of Cleveland. I mean, they were able to make a game of it for 30 minutes before the Chargers defense decided it was time to kill Vince Young. I will say this, they successfully shut down LT, but that only led to the embarassment of having Phillip Rivers beat them. Congrats to Norv, who has now done something Marty Schottenheimer couldn't do...win a playoff game.

The Golden Nutcup Team
Wear it with pride fellas!

QB - Phillip Rivers (292 YDS 1 TD)
RB - vacant
WR - Hines Ward (10 Catches 135 YDS)
WR - Vincent Jackson (114 YDS 1 TD)
TE - vacant
DEF - San Diego (3 sacks, 1 INT, 6 points allowed)

*Running backs and tight ends did NOTHING this week.

The Flaming Bag Team
Known as Hellman's east of the Rockies.

Camilla Parker Bowles: What a hag.

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