Comments: Good Lord, do I play baseball for the Houston Astros? Am I a hockey player? Goatees are sooo pre-9/11. Is it time to shave it into a stache? No! Too soon! Too soon! This look tells the world, "I enjoy drinking domestic light beer out of a can."
In a futile and ill-advised attempt to gain the respect of firefighters and police officers everywhere, as well as to inject some much needed testosterone into my aura, I've decided to try to grow a mustache. I will chronicle the impending fallout. This is my story.