Comments: Today I decided to forgo shaving altogether. I have to leave that goatee part intact until the mustache grows in, so as I'm not fired from my job. There's a strict 'no pedophile' rule in place that a wispy stache would clearly violate. It's taken me 2 days to grow the amount of stubble that facial hair luminaries like Kurt Warner and Jesus could grow in 2 hours.
In a futile and ill-advised attempt to gain the respect of firefighters and police officers everywhere, as well as to inject some much needed testosterone into my aura, I've decided to try to grow a mustache. I will chronicle the impending fallout. This is my story.