Poor Man's NFL Picks Week 13

November 26, 2008 | Comments (0) | by Governor X

Jesus was only 11-5 last week. Divine inspiration indeed. Since its Thanksgiving week, no celebrities wanted to participate, but fear not, the picks go on and Chef Gordon Ramsey is lined up for week 14 with a string of f-bombs that would make a sailor blush. So then, the half-assed week 13 picks and a collection of random pictures:

Tennessee at Detroit
The 2008 Lions win the coveted cock-gobbler award given annually to the team that should be disbanded.

Pick: Titans 31 Lions 0

Seattle at Dallas
Remember classic Thanksgiving showdowns involving Dallas like the Leon Lett game? I don't either. The Dallas game hasn't been worth a damn since 'Nam.

Pick: Cowboys 37 Seahawks 20

Arizona at Philadelphia
If a west coast team wins a game in the Eastern time zone at all this year, this is going to be it.

Pick: Cardinals 34 Eagles 28

Baltimore at Cincinnati
I haven't been paying much attention to the Bengals. Is Carson Palmer dead?

Pick: Ravens 29 Bengals 14

NY Giants at Washington
Ganesh must be pissed. The Giants shouldn't be this good.

Pick: Giants 36 Redskins 28

Indianapolis at Cleveland
Peyton Manning is a douche.

Pick: Colts 27 Browns 10

New Orleans at Tampa Bay
I may have to put out a hit on Drew Brees. I'm not going to sit idly by and watch Kurt Warner break Marino's 5084 yard record only to have this birthmarked upstart overtake him.

Pick: Saints 35 Bucs 17

Carolina at Green Bay
Welcome back to reality Panthers fans. This is what a team led by Jake Delhomme should look like.

Pick: Packers 23 Panthers 17

San Francisco at Buffalo
The Mike Singletary sideshow is officially boring. This week he'll bite a head off a bat. The 49ers will still lose.

Pick: Bills 25 49ers 20

Miami at St. Louis
The Rams have given up about 400 first half points in the last few weeks. You can expect the trend to continue.

Pick: Dolphins 42 Rams 24

Atlanta at San Diego
My AFC Superbowl pick San Diego is coming apart at the seams and I fear my BFF Norv Turner's job may be in jeopardy. I blame Ed Hochuli.

Pick: Falcons 28 Chargers 20

Kansas City at Oakland
Oakland scored an offensive touchdown last week and Kansas City gave up 54 at home. This is like seeing two unicorns just hanging out by the highway telling war stories.

Pick: Chiefs 17 Raiders 12

Denver at NY Jets
Its entirely possible that Denver will win the AFC West with a 7-9 or 8-8 record. Do you see what happens Larry?

Pick: Jets 35 Broncos 17

Pittsburgh at New England
I think I saw Bill Belichick panhandling for change near a 605 offramp.

Pick: Patriots 28 Steelers 17

Chicago at Minnesota
This is a battle for first? NFC North FAIL.

Pick: Bears 5 Vikings 3

Jacksonville at Houston
December kicks off with a stinker that reminds ABC why Monday Night Football isn't such a loss.

Pick: Texans 18 Jags 10

Please don't spend too much time trying to make sense of these photos.