TMS Celebrity Farewell (& NFL Picks)

Since its inception, TMS has developed quite a celebrity following. This year several of them have accepted our invitation to pick NFL games, but there are many many more.

With our imminent transition to Pomp Culture on 11/11/08, I asked some of our famous fans to give us their parting thoughts. Some were sad to see us go, others ecstatic, and still others seemingly unsure just who I was or what I was asking them about.

Governor Gray Davis - Blogger
OK, so my celebrity NFL picker this week was supposed to be Barack Obama, but it seems he's a little busy now, so I'm gonna throw them out there: Browns, Titans, Jags, Texans, Pats, Saints, Dolphins, Packers, Jets, Panthers, Steelers, Chargers, Giants, Cardinals. Oh, and I'll totally miss the saloon or something...

Al Swearengen - Saloon Proprietor
Who the fuck is Matt Murton? Sounds like a squarehead cocksucker from fuckin' Yankton if you ask me...

George W. Bush - Former Owner of the Texas Rangers
TMS was where our nation found hope, where wings took dream. I for one will miss it. Are we havin' burritos for lunch again?

Huell Howser - TV Legend, rumored homosexual
Thunder Matt's Saloon was truly amazing! I wish the guys the best on Pomp Culture. It could be another exciting adventure and another perfect example...of California's Gold.

Sir Charles Barkley O.B.E. - Professional Gambler
No. Uh-uh. I told the Governor I'm not saying a damn word until the check clears.

Walter Mondale - former Vice-President, Zombie
Braaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnssssssssssss....

Don Francisco - Host, Sábado Gigante
Soy triste, pero emocionado también.

John Mark Karr - Sex Pervert
I'm going to miss TMS, but Chaim Witz has promised Pomp Culture will feature lots of shirtless Zac Efron pics, so I won't stand in the way of progress.

Zac Efron - Actor, Sexpot
Who said what about me now?

Campbell Brown - Journalist, Pregnant Sexpot
Tell that British guy to stop stalking me please.

M. Night Shyamalan - Director
TMS would have been better if it had been set in Pennsylvania and had a twist.

Joseph Smith - Mormon Prophet, Disreputable Mountebank
If you sell this new blog just right, you could have millions of followers who believe any easily disprovable bullshit you post. Trust me, I know...

Dan Rather - Insane Former Newsman
One's reminded of that old saying, 'Don't taunt the alligator until after you've crossed the creek'.

Sarah Palin - Special Needs Governor of a Frozen Backwater
What is Pomp Culture? Is that a state or something? Palin in 2012!

Bono - Christ's Second Coming
Distance does not decide who is your brother and who is not. The church is going to have to become the conscience of the free market if it's to have any meaning in this world - and stop being its apologist. I don't know what that has to do with TMS though.

Shark Jesus - Shark, Christ's Third Coming?
Asshole border guards nabbed my stash on the way back from Rosarito. When he's not looking, I'm going to bite him.

Mel Gibson - Alcoholic anti-Semite, Actor
As you may have guessed, I blame the Jews for the demise of TMS - and the death of our Lord.

Bill O'Reilly - Falafel Enthusiast
That is it for TMS...
Uh, whatever it is, that's not right on the teleprompter...
I CAN'T read it, there's no WORDS on it.
There's no WORDS there, what does that mean, Pomp Culture?
What does--
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS Pomp Culture, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
A new blog?
That's tomorrow, and that is uh....
we'll leave you with a...
I can't do it.
WE'LL DO IT LIVE.
WE'LL DO IT LIVE
I'LL WRITE IT AND WE'LL DO IT LIVE
FUCKING THING SUCKS!

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