Celebrity NFL Picks with George W. Bush

12:00 PM | Comments (0) | by Governor X

We're creeping up on the halfway mark in the NFL season and the TMS celebrity NFL picks march on. Surprisingly, we're getting some well known celebrities. I must say, I didn't anticipate that. Don Francisco had a nice week coming in at 9-5. Our celebs are now 60-42 on the year. This week we call on Still President Bush to make the picks.

Howdy! When the Governor first called and asked me to do the picks, I was like, damn it, I'm the President I have more important things to do! Then I took a stiff shot of Jack and remembered no one really listens to me anymore. Everytime I poke my head out of the White House like a cuckoo clock, the stock market drops 500 points. I may as well do this instead.

Oakland at Baltimore
I don't know who is winning this game. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not my priority.

Pick: Ravens 15 Raiders 9

Arizona at Carolina
People say, how can I help the Cardinals? How can I fight evil? You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you.

Pick: Panthers 34 Cardinals 28

Tampa Bay at Dallas
"America's team" a real disaster right now and I, unfortunately, have been to too many disasters as president. In other words, I'm not going to this game.

Pick: Bucs 27 Cowboys 17

Washington at Detroit
Are you having burritos for lunch?

Pick: Redskins 18 Lions 3

Buffalo at Miami
The Bills are going to win this one, now watch this drive...*swings golf club wildly indoors*

Pick: Bills 24 Dolphins 17

St. Louis at New England
New England is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.

Pick: Patriots 31 Rams 23

San Diego at New Orleans
Picking this game, no doubt about it, it's tough. It's hard work. It's incredibly hard.

Pick: Chargers 25 Saints 20

Kansas City at NY Jets
Too many good Chiefs QBs are getting out of the business. Too many QBs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country. Tyler Thigpen is the exception. Man-whore.

Pick: Jets 56 Chiefs 10

Atlanta at Philadelphia
I'm gonna pick Philly. I don't know why. I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things.

Pick: Eagles 24 Falcons 21

Cincinnati at Houston
I thought the Bengals would be decent this year. There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

Pick: Texans 45 Bengals 0

Cleveland at Jacksonville
I hear there’s rumors on the Internets that Cleveland will have a good draft pick.

Pick: Jags 20 Browns 7

NY Giants at Pittsburgh
Man, I tell ya, I really misunderestimated the Giants this year.

Pick: Giants 37 Steelers 14

Seattle at San Francisco
The Niners fired Mike Nolan. Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our 49ers learning? I think they may be.

Pick: Niners 10 Seahawks 6

Indianapolis at Tennessee
Peyton Manning is a douche.

Pick: Titans 24 Colts 21

I have issued an executive order. This here turkey is now in charge of the Detroit Lions. Godspeed mighty bird!

0 comments: