E-Claire's Kollege Kegger

October 06, 2008 | Comments (0) | by ,

Crack open a beer...Because college football season is officially underway! So each week, I will (attempt) to recap the best - and the worst - games for you in quick and easy fashion...Much like your girlfriend at a frat party...Zing!

Premium games on tap...(The haiku edition): When Daft Funk informed me that he was going to write the Monday Afternoon Hangover in haiku form, I decided to follow suit (aka "steal his idea") and do the Kegger in haiku form as well...Kind of like a poetry-themed football Monday. Exciting, right?! Whatever. Let's just go with it...

Pittsburgh def. No. 10 South Florida 26-21:
Pitt upsets the Bulls
The Panthers have won four straight
Wannstedt's mustache rules

No. 15 Utah def. Oregon State 31-28:
Utes come from behind
Sakoda's field goal wins it
Beavers can build dams

No. 16 Kansas def. Iowa State 35-33:

Kansas rallies big
They came back from 20 points down
Rock Chalk Jayhawk, yo!

No. 2 Alabama def. Kentucky 17-14:
Bama just squeaks by
And remains undefeated
Nick Saban leaves jobs

No. 19 Vanderbilt def. No. 13 Auburn:
Vandy's 5 and 0
Lionel was a Commodore
Your Mom's a "brick house."

No. 14 Ohio State def. No. 18 Wisconsin 20-17:
Buckeyes beat Badgers
Pryor scores winning TD
Badger bit me once

Hawaii def. No. 22 Fresno State 32-29 in OT:
6 turnovers? Damn.
No wonder the Bulldogs lost
I've been to Fresno

Games that resembled the foam at the end of a keg of Natty Light:

Illinois def. Michigan 45-20:
Juice had 4 TDs
The Big House was not happy
Watch out, Rodriguez

No. 9 USC def. No. 23 Oregon 44-10:
The Trojans bounce back
After last week's upset loss
Ducks often say "quack"

No. 1 Oklahoma def. Baylor 49-17:
This game was a snooze
Sooners scored seven TDs
Bad News Baylor Bears

TMS Alma Mater roundup (schools attended by TMS bartenders highlighted in green):

No. 6 Penn State def. Purdue 20-6:
Penn State hasn't lost
JoePa coached from the press box
First place in Big Ten

Michigan State def.
Iowa 16-13:
This was a close game
But Spartans made fourth down stop
To preserve the win

Florida State def. Miami (FL) 41-39:
Noles had a big lead
And then let the game get close
But they get the win

Northern Iowa def. Nicholls State 34-14:
UNI wins game
And remains perfect at home
Panthers got claws...Rawr!

UCLA def. Washington State 28-3:
UCLA wins?
You've got to me kidding me!
That's quite amazing

Euerka College def. Blackburn College 26-13:
A win? Eureka!
Sorry, I know that was lame
But I've had four beers

TCU def. San Diego State 41-7:
SDSU's loss
Is their fourth of the season
Frogs shouldn't have horns

Carthage College def. Illinois Wesleyan University 26-21:
Titans lose close game
Where the hell is Carthage at?
I'm too drunk to care