All Favre'd Out

July 20, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Ginger Russ

Hey Brett Favre, are you cool? No, seriously, I want to know.

Hey ESPN, are you okay, too? Because every top story or interview seems to be about or involving Brett Favre. Seriously? I know it's a slow time in sports right now, but I don't care about Brett Favre. I don't care what he ate for breakfast. I don't care how many passes he threw today. I don't care if he sleeps on his stomach or his back (my guess is his stomach, better access if you know what I mean).

I mean, this story was great...LAST YEAR! Oh wait, it was retarded then too. At least last year Favre was moving to a major market. Now he's going to Minnesota. You know, Prince, Fargo, a big ass mall. That's great, I get it. You want to get back at the Packers for treating you like shit. I mean, it's not like you were idolized there or anything. I'm pretty sure some stupid ass kid didn't wear your jersey for like 2 years straight. Oh, wait you were, and he did.

So last year...didn't work out how you expected, did it? All that ESPN penis in your vagina might have hampered your throwing arm I guess. You were probably pretty overwhelmed when Mike Greenburg of Mike and Mike changed all his kids names to Brett Favre.

Welcome back to the NFC North, Brett. Personally, I'm glad to see you're back. I look forward to November 29th and especially Monday Night Football on December 28th. You see, that's when the Bears get to play the Vikings. I'm sure you remember those guys right? No? Well, here's a photo to remind you.

Yeah, expect more of that. That is if your arm hasn't already fallen off or you're benched after throwing 80 interceptions. And thanks again for taking time out of my precious SportCenter to cover your stupid ass. I mean, it's not like football doesn't start for another month. Wait, is it that soon? Time to order my Cutler jersey. GFY #4, wherever you play.

Go Cubs!