TMS Booze Broject: Sailor Jerry's Spiced Navy Rum

I always felt like an outsider when I'd read one of the TMS Beer Project reviews. Although I sometimes drink beer and even enjoy it on occasion, it's usually something I resort to only when every other beverage has been consumed. Being a saloon, I decided to spotlight my preferred vessel for inebriation: hard liquor. Without further adieu, I bring you the TMS Booze Project.

Sailor Jerry's Spiced Navy Rum
Distillery: Sailor Jerry Ltd., U.S. Virgin Islands
Type: Spiced Navy Rum

Receptacle: 750ml glass bottle with iconic hula girl on the label.

History: Norman "Sailor Jerry" Collins was a sailor and tattoo artist. Actually, he was THE tattoo artist, and aside from laying the foundation for the modern hygienic tattoo parlor & inventing new needlework techniques, he created & popularized some of the most iconic tattoos in history: anchors, skulls, hearts with daggers through them, big-tittied mermaids, etc. He also gave Ed Hardy his start as a tattoo artist, which means Sailor Jerry is indirectly responsible for ridiculously overpriced t-shirts. Being a seafaring man, he obviously drank a whole lot of rum. The corporation which owns the rights to his name & images has produced a spiced rum based on the type of beverage Sailor Jerry might be drinking if hadn't died over 35 years ago.

Drinkability (1 being Jim Jones' kool-aid, 10 being the nectar of the gods): 8. Sailor Jerry's spiced rum is surprisingly smooth for something that's 46% alcohol. Shots go down easily and Rum & Cokes have never tasted better. Don't let the smooth taste fool you, this shit will fuck you up.

Heartiness (1 being fresh mountain spring water, 10 being a pureed British steak infected with mad cow disease): 5, Forget anything made by Budweiser, this rum really is the perfect balance of flavor and refreshment. There are subtle hints of vanilla and a sweet tinge of cherry in there, along with a mellow molasses flavor that isn't as overpowering as other spiced rums I've had. It has a clean, natural taste and smells like a manly potpourri. Imagine the taste of Dr. Pepper, now remove the carbonation and nastiness, and add a shit-ton of alcohol and you'll have a general idea of what to expect from Sailor Jerry's. Also, even though it's called "Navy rum," there's not a hint of seaman in it.

Intoxication (1 being your friend's weird Pentecostal grandmother high on Jesus, 10 being Boris Yeltsin on a week long bender in the Crimea): 8.5. At 92 proof, Sailor Jerry's is getting into "hair on your chest" territory. While not the hardest of liquors, I dare you find a flavored or spiced rum that has both taste and lots of alcohol. Captain Morgan's? 70 proof. Malibu? A paltry 42 proof. Bacardi 151? Well, ok, but that shit is for frat boys, date rapists and people who cut themselves.

Celebrities You May See Drinking This Spirit: Jimmy Buffett, Slash, Ernest Hemmingway's Ghost

Affordability ($ being chicklets in Tijuana, $$$$ being diamond encrusted braised lamb shank from a trendy cafe on the Champs d'Elysee): $$. Being a thrifty alcoholic, I picked this up on sale for $12. Normally, it falls somewhere in the range of $17-20. That's not exactly cheap, but factoring in the quality of the product, it's worth every penny even at regular price.

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