Cubs of Yore Battle Royale: Final Four

July 17, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan

I know, I know. Really there's no excuse for such a long hiatus of the Battle Royale. Well there is. I'm an incredibly lazy bastard. But that excuse doesn't work with the wife so why would it here?

So here we are, the Final Four. It's been a long hard battle but we're down to these quadfecta of Cubs of Yore titans:

Keith "Zonk" Moreland - The O.G. (Original Ginger) of the Cubs. Keith was recently seen on a Cubs broadcast alongside Len Kasper as a color analyst.

he battles...

Dwight "Awww shit, you know" Smith - The Billy Dee Williams of the Cubs. Dwight was recently seen showing off his World Series ring to Jerome Walton for the zillionth time.

* * *

Glenallen "Is that a spider?" Hill - The Bad Ass Motherfucker of the Cubs. Glenallen was recently seen shopping at a Whole Foods Market wearing his batting helmet.

he battles...

Steve "Rainbow" Trout - The Wild Card of the Cubs. Steve was recently seen at Chipotle challenging any who dared compete against him in a burrito eating contest.

Moreland vs. Smith! Hill vs. Trout! Cast your votes now in the polls in the sidebar. We'll close the polls on Tuesday at noon central time.