Pomp Culture's Best of 2008: Year in Review

3:33 PM | Comments (0) | by Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan

Oh 2008, what a wild ride it was. Let's take a minute to look back at the highs and lows of the past year (cue Green Day's Good Riddance...).

JANUARY

- Chaim begins the "Mustache Diaries", a futile attempt to toughen his image by attempting to grow facial hair. This journey plays out much like a gayer version of Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness.

- Manute Bol is named the 2008 TMS Man of the Year. Any future Man of the Year awards will pale in comparison to Manute.

- The 2008 NFL playoffs are once again simulated on Tecmo Super Bowl.

- Daft Funk posts the first Childhood Favorites feature, immediately goes outside to find a "good stick" afterwards.

- After Lingering Bursitis introduced us to the glory of Scotch Eggs, Brant Brown chronicles his first attempt at making these delicacies of the gods.

- In an attempt to make TMS seem more sophisticated, The Hundley writes about books.

- Terrell Owens cries a lot.

- Over/Underrated: All American Edition.

- After trade rumors begin to swirl, the Thunder Matt Contingency Plan is introduced.

FEBRUARY

- For no reason whatsoever, the Governor holds a press conference.

- TMS Vacation begins. Readers fail to notice any difference when we stop writing about sports for a week and a half.

- Daft Funk wants to give you a hug.

- Super Tuesday is chronicled by our resident drunken Englishman in what became the biggest and most psychotic drunkblog in history. Hour 1, Hour 2, Hour 3, Hour 4.

- Chip Wesley reminisces about the convenience store items that brought him joy as a child.

- The world is introduced to Phillip Mitchell. The full effects of this event still have not been completely understood.

- Nickelback gets their long overdue War Criminal indictment.

MARCH

- Our obsession with food continues with Over/Underrated: Appetizers.

- Ronald McDonald's Cubs preview spotlights Ryan Theriot.

- Brant Brown buys a pack of baseball cards.

- Rocco Baldelli Life Status angers our biggest douchebag reader.

- Anger towards cilantro can no longer be kept quiet.

- Steve Finley Was Here is launched. World response is indifferent.

- Our initial reaction to Reed Johnson joining the Cubs wasn't exactly favorable. We later retracted these sentiments.

- Much to our own shock and bewilderment, Paul Sullivan of the Chicago Tribune names us as one of Chicago's Best Blogs.

APRIL

- The Hundley interviews a local MMA fighter. TMS briefly appears like a legitimate sports blog.

- We score an online interview with beat writer Paul Sullivan. Perhaps our greatest blogging achievement to date.

- Possible titles for various athletes' books.

- Few things have been more overrated than the Olympic Torch.

- The Hundley begins the Thunder Matt Bat Odyssey, a feature he has never offered us closure on.

- Adam Sandler becomes the first person to simultaneously be a War Criminal and War Hero.

- LB unironically eats a pound of bacon and proceeds to write the All-Fat Team.

- The NFL Draft, several hours of overrated glory.

- Cubs of Yore: Lee Elia. I hope we get hotter'n shit!

MAY

- The Governor writes a post that even confuses Phillip Mitchell.

- An old piece we once for GROTA becomes a War Hero: Mark Grace.

- The Hundley goes to DC and sees their baseball team. They have uniforms and everything, it's great.

- The addition of Jim Edmonds is met with even greater hostility than Reed Johnson.

- Daft Funk goes shopping for clothes and gets angry.

JUNE

- We finally recap a Cubs trip in May. New Cubs were heckled, hats were stolen, beers were dumped on heads, shots of Patron were purchased for chubby girls, nachos were ordered.

- The Governor debuts the TMS Beer Project.

- Brant and Daft Funk attend a game on the left coast.

- The Hundley attends a single A ballgame. He doesn't get out much.

- A pledge drive is started to send Daft Funk to Thunderfist 2008.

- A damning case is brought forth against Wind being a War Criminal.

- Want to join my 27x27 fantasy league?

- The most poignant "Gist" of the year is written.

JULY

- Daft Funk and Chaim spend more time analyzing a new Motley Crue album than any person rightfully should.

- Chip's dark secret is revealed. A press conference follows the initial fallout of the devastating news.

- Jesse Helms dies.

- The Cubs land Rich Harden, however it is at great cost.

- Chaim's priapism over The Dark Knight begins. No cure has been found to date.

- Josh Hamilton destroys the world with his sobriety as well as his bat.

- All Star Game Liveblog.

- Daft Funk sees Mamma Mia. To compensate afterwards he changes the oil in his car, drinks a 12 pack of Busch Light and jerks off to a monster truck magazine.

- The TMS 30 List is finally laid to rest.

- To great fanfare, OJ Simpson makes his return to TMS.

- Thunderfist 2008!

- TMS goes Limey as LB takes over for the weekend.

AUGUST

- The Olympics happened.

- The Governor gives his thoughts on visits to Wrigley Field as well as the Cell.

- Brant Brown's Premier League guide.

- Dave Otto for vice president.

- Jordi and E-Claire join TMS.

- Link Bulimia debuts. General public reaction is ambivalent.

SEPTEMBER

- Cubs have minor slump, fans unsurprisingly begin overreacting.

- Huell Howser offers up the first Celebrity NFL Picks of the season. A fan of Huell gets pissed off.

- Heineken? Fuck that shit!

- Arcturus, formerly Loser Poet joins TMS.

- Carlos Zambrano is bigger than Jesus.

- Rube Waddell, American hero.

- Jordi begins the outstanding Eulogies for the Eliminated series.

- The Astros become the biggest bunch of whiny crybaby pansies since the Seahawks lost the Super Bowl.

- Paul Newman dies.

OCTOBER

Brant looks at what baseball teams are under the most pressure in the postseason.

- Chaim reports about being at Game 1 of the NLDS.

- Unrated DVD's truly are overrated.

- TMS Drunkblogs the Vice Presidential debates, which brings an old douchebag commenter out of hiding.

- OJ is going to jail.

- The Cubs break our hearts yet again. TMS reacts with this, this, this, this, and this.

- Daft Funk professes his love for hair metal.

- Chaim discovers Facebook. Later he finds this amazing site where people post videos of all sorts of stuff called U-Tub or something.

- The closure of Thunder Matt's Saloon is announced.

- Arcturus wishes Hollywood would stop raping his childhood.

NOVEMBER

- The Governor liveblogs the election along with Hawk Harrelson and Shark Jesus.

- Thunder Matt's Saloon officially closes, deeming itself a War Criminal.

- Pomp Culture launches. Overall disinterest is confused with excited buzz.

- Daft Funk discusses various things that never quite lived up to their hype.

- The Hundley shares what it's like to be in a rock band.

- Chaim wants to do unmentionable things to crab rangoons.

- Jordi gives us a glimpse into the world of the Afro Squad.

- E-Claire has had enough of all the abbreviated speak the kids are using these days, OMG LOLZ!

- Kerry Wood becomes a free agent. An era has ended.

- The Hundley chronicles the rise and fall of Guns n Roses in his life.

- Hot dogs at the movie theater? What the hell is wrong with you people!

- Death League 2009 begins. Once again Amy Winehouse is the #1 draft pick. The Governor wins the inaugural Death League 2008 thanks in large part to the death of Benazir Bhutto notching him 66% of his total points.

- Myron Rolle provides a much-needed feel good story in the world of football.

DECEMBER

- Despite living in California for most her life, E-Claire has done a lousy job being a native.

- Seriously, liking the NBA isn't something you should be ashamed of. It's OK to admit it.

- Get to know the various kinds of garden-variety homeless people.

- Chinese Democracy came out. Chaim and Funk actually listened and reviewed it. No one received their Dr. Pepper.

- A gripping tale of addiction, and increased neck girth.

- O.J. reports from prison and gives us his Over/Underrateds.

- Brant defends Christmas music, while Jordi defends being a Scrooge.

- Having by now mastered Facebook, Chaim comes across the revelation that you can purchase shit online. He'll undoubtedly have his mind blown in 2009 when he finds out he can do his taxes on these interwebs as well.

- It's the holidays, so booze it up! You don't know what's the seasonal thing to drink? Let The Hundley be your guide to yuletide inebriation.

- Pomp Culture releases their Best Albums of 2008. The Best of 2008 radio station follows soon after.

- Happy Festivus! Merry Christmas!

- The Dark Knight is deemed overrated by Daft Funk. Chaim challenges him to an open-handed slap fight to settle the matter.

-2008 ends.

That's it. I hope you had a good 2008 and wish you the best in 2009. The aughts are almost over. VH1 will certainly be having an "I Love the 00's!" special any time now.

0 comments: