Official Pomp Culture Superbowl Predictions

• The Arizona Cardinals will defeat the Pittsburgh Steelers: 27-24.
• Your Superbowl MVP will be Kurt Warner, though he will extend the trophy to God.
• Larry Fitzgerald will make between 2-3 improbable catches.
• Everyone will hasten their piss breaks so they don't miss any commercials, yet all of the commercials will inevitably disappoint, as they have for countless years.
• Ben Roethlisberger will be concussed.
• You will drink too much, and your wife will become upset with your antics.