The Gist

11:32 PM | Comments (0) | by Rich Funk

I don't have much to say. Tonight's game was just embarrassing.

The Cubs seem...well...snakebit. Every time someone hits the ball hard, it seems to be right at a Diamondback. It seemed like Lilly went to a 3-ball count on everyone, and every time a Cub came to the plate, it seemed like they already had 2 strikes against them. Soriano, Lee and Ramirez are pressing and getting absolutely nothing done. We're walking too many people. Just name something that could go wrong, and it probably has. We look like it's April all over again.

I haven't even gone into how much the "team" announcing the game for TBS sucks. They called Theriot "There-ee-oh". Proving that screwing up players' names isn't enough, they referred to Coors Field as "Mile High Stadium". I also can't stand the snake hissing sound that happens at Chase Field. And over the last 2 days, Stephen Drew has become one of my least favorite people ever. So when TBS showed a shot of Drew while they were playing the hissing sound, it made me want to take a long walk off a short cliff. All they needed to do was throw in a promo for Frank TV or House Of Payne and I would have shot myself in the face right there. My favorite part was when Dick Stockton said something to the effect of "Boy, Augie Ojeda is really coming back to haunt the Cubs." Right, Dick...when we let him go in 2003, we should have known that he would come back 4 years later and bite us in the ass.

The D-Bags have 0 .300 hitters on their team. They have 0 100 RBI guys. And yet they get 8 runs off of us?

And the Diamondbacks have some kind of cat creature as their mascot. Last time I checked, Diamondbacks were snakes. Ass clowns.

And this Frank TV...has a show ever been canceled before it premiered?

I have never seen so many geriatric geezers at a game as I did tonight. And the douchebags sitting behind home plate that are always waving at the camera for 9 whole innings? Urge to kill...rising...

We need a little home magic to turn this series around. Hill and Lee and Ramirez need to step up. It's crunch time.

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