A Mile High Minute/Sun Devil Second: Week 7

October 23, 2007 | Comments (0) | by Governor X

Washington 21 Arizona 19

I'll pick things up about the same time Fox finally turned off that hideous 49ers game... Kurt Warner, now some sort of weird cyborg with no ligaments in his left arm, got the Cards in a position to win the game late. Unfortunately, a series of brainfarts conspired to give the Skins the victory.

Earlier in the game, Neil Rackers missed an extra point, so after scoring a TD with only seconds remaining, Arizona needed a two point conversion to tie. For reasons known only to him, Ken Whisenhunt decided to split Tim Rattay out wide and snap to Anquan Boldin. Larry Fitzgerald was wide open, but Boldin threw a horrendous pass even for a wide receiver and they missed the conversion.

With no choice but to try an onside kick, Arizona goes for it...and makes it! Locutus here takes them down the field for a Rackers FG attempt to win the game, but alas, he misses again.

Basically Arizona dominates Washington all day (the Skins only had 160 total yards) and manages to lose thanks to Neil Rackers and a botched gadget play. Ugh.

Denver 31 Pittsburgh 28

With that disappointment behind me, I prepared for the next one. I gave Denver NO chance against the Steelers, but look at that score. Occasionally, I like being wrong.

Denver dominated the first half. The defense looked solid and the offense was actually able to move the ball even with Travis Henry strugling.

The second half was a little rough. The defense switched from Orange Crush back to store-brand Orange Drink mode and gave up 21. The saving grace was the offense. They actually managed to keep up and gave the great Jason Elam a chance to win it. Naturally, he did.

I'll say it: Cutler with the game on the line is nerve racking. His errant throws are just asking for trouble. He got it done this week though, so I'll give him a pass.

I'll say this too: As I watch Cutler hand off to the *potent* Travis Henry, I put the odds at 50/50 that Jay Cutler is a virgin.

Thoughts From Around the League

New England - Tom Brady is STILL better than you.

Chevrolet - Someone should tell Chevy that no matter how good an advertising idea is, there is an overkill point. "Our Country" isn't even a particularly good advertising scheme and it makes me ill every time I hear it. I will never buy a Chevy now (honestly, I wouldn't have bought one before this, but this sealed it).

Ford - I don't care if your truck can tow Idaho. Tell me when it gets more than 12 miles per gallon.

Miller - Miller is hit and miss. The "Purveyors of the High Life" ads are about as close as a commercial can be to being good, but the Commissioner ads with that guy from Scrubs are awful. That guy was OK as Bob in Office Space, but he's associated with Zach Braff so natural law dictates he's annoying.

Yes, I'm commenting on commercials. The games were awful this week so I didn't pay much attention.

and now for something completely different...

Apparently Dumbledore is gay. OK then.

Two things come to mind.

1. JK Rowling is on an unending mission to terrify the religious nuts. Not only has she created a best selling book series about witchcraft involving teenagers, but now their beloved headmaster is gay. Beware! Your kids will turn away from Jesus and turn to spellcasting and turtlenecks! Somewhere, Jerry Falwell's corpse mutters "I told you so!"

2. How is it possible that after writing about 4000 pages, she has anything left to say about any of these characters? We learn everything down to Hermione's cup size and Ron's favorite brand of toothpaste, but there's still more backstory? Come on lady, time to wrap it up.