The Gist, Game 39

May 14, 2008 | Comments (0) | by Chaim Witz

Chubby Priests 4, Hibernating Young Bears 3

A rainy and dreary game, much like my life. The Cubs get some runs early, courtesy of a suddenly scalding hot Sammy Sosa Jr. (Soriano) donkey punch and then a double by the soon-to-be-displaced Reed Johnson.

But then Jason Marquis gave it all back, letting that mullet sporting twerp, Khalil Greene, slam a three run dong into the swirling wind and then giving up a Jody Gerut (remember him?) RBI double.

Three runs was all we could muster off Shawn Estes. Yep, Shawn Estes. I had no idea that guy was alive (I assumed he was murdered), much less pitching in the bigs. He got his first win of the year (decade?) and the 100th of his career. The fact that he has managed to win 100 games and lived to tell the tale is surely an act of Satan.

Here's a fun Did You Know? Edgar Gonzalez is Adrian's older, suckier brother. Breaking into the bigs at 29, he's a spitting image of Adrian, but way skinner. Like Adrian Gonzalez, but meth addled.

Michael Wuertz did a good job in relief, pitching three innings of scoreless ball. All this despite the fact that he looks like a mongoloid. I for one support Proposition Put Sean Gallagher Into the Rotation for Marquis. Jason Marquis? Easily the least popular Cub here at the Saloon. Get that guy out of my life.

Tomorrow it's Peavy vs. Lilly. Lots of potential strikeout victims there. Thursday, we've got a meet-up with 4 of the bartenders (The Hundley, Dave Thomas, myself and the always punctual Chip Wesley) for the Maddux/Dempster showdown. If you're so inclined, stop by the Gingerman after the game and buy us a round. We'll even name drop you in our writeup, which is read by millions (literally!) of people, including Daft Funk's mother.

Good night and good luck.