Coors Light Hates America

July 11, 2007 | Comments (0) | by White Chili

I'd like to start my tenure here at The Saloon with a little editorial response to the oh-so-entertaining Coors Light commercial that I've seen lately featuring the one and only Takeru Kobayashi. In the commercial the booming voice of reason tells us to guard our bowls of peanuts because Takaru is the "world's fastest eater." Recently at Nathan's annual hot dog eating contest held at Coney Island on July 4th, Joey Chestnut defeated six-time champion Kobayashi by eating 66 hot dogs in 12 minutes and in the process smashed his old world record of 59 dogs. Kobayashi put up a good fight by eating 63 dogs while suffering from "jaw arthritis" but brought a good number of those dogs back up and out with a few seconds to go. To his credit he did eat his puke so they would still count. Bonus point for Kobayashi.

Here's where things get fuzzy for me.

First of all, of the major three producers of cheap light domestic beer only Anheuser-Busch is still owned by American interests. Miller was purchased by South African Breweries PLC in 2002 and Coors actually merged with Canadian brewer Molson in 2005 to form what is now the Molson Coors Brewing Company.

Now, I have nothing against our harmless friends to the North. It seems to me that a country which produced Elisha Cuthebert, Rachel McAdams, and John Candy shouldn't be made the target of jokes quite as often as it is. However, I recently had a layover in Canada and I'm pretty sure that 66 is greater than 63 in metric AND French. I'll be damned if some Canadian company can come into my house and tell me that Mr. Kobayashi is the world's fastest eater when Joey Chestnut reigned supreme in front of 30,000+ a little over a week ago. You know what Coors? I'd boycott your piss swill if I already didn't drink it. Here's to Joey Chestnut: Real American Hero.