Cubs Clinch! Playoffs! Seriously...the F'n Playoffs! Tim McCarver, I Hate You But I Love the Thought of You!

10:57 PM | Comments (0) | by Chaim Witz

Cubs win! They've been drinking! You've been drinking! I've been drinking!

Good God, I love it. The resulting celebration on Comcast (which sadly, the majority of you fans outside of Chicago weren't privy to) was nothing short of GLORIOUS! You've got Ron Santo chugging Coronas, Mike Harkey making cameo appearances, Snoop Dogg blaring in the background and cheap champagne being sprayed with no regard for people wearing contacts.

The Cubs are in the playoffs! The Cubs are in the playoffs!

Matt Murton was interviewed with Jason Marquis and their tag team interview was nothing short of revolutionary. Thunder's shock of red hair screamed 'playoff hero'. Jason Marquis' ill advised beard screamed 'bullpen at best'. Lou Piniella may or may not have had a boner. That may be me, not Lou. Mark DeRosa was drunk yet resilient.

This is one of the greatest days of my life. I haven't been this happy since I beat 'Duck Hunt' by sitting 3 inches from the TV. What a day that was. What a day this is! I am not above dancing with my cat. I will dry hump Ron Santo's toupee!

I was going to go down to Wrigleyville tomorrow had the Brewers won, but I guess I'll settle for the next best thing. Getting drunk alone and texting all my friends.

Go Cubs Go. This is it kiddies. We're gonna win this thing. I will bet anyone a Turkey Tom from Jimmy John's. If you're not on board, screw you. Don't judge me. As God as my witness the Cubs will reign supreme. Thunder Matt will prevail. Good night and good luck!

*Ok, the celebration on TV is over now and I'm listening to Dave Letterman interview Paris Hilton about jail. Christ, this is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Wow, so awkward. YouTube this thing. But that's neither here nor there. Cubs....PLAYOFFS!

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