Must (Someone) Win?

September 14, 2007 | Comments (0) | by White Chili

Everyone in the country knew that Michigan and Notre Dame lost some key talent to the NFL coming into the season. However, these two storied institutions have a stronger ability to recruit than the US Army. There should have been players ready to fill the open slots, drooling at the chance to make a name for themselves. Notre Dame's players are both terrible and inexperienced, but it at least appears that they are making an effort to get the ball across the plane. Michigan's players look like they would rather be in the classroom than in pads, which is just pathetic.

Michigan's star running back Mike Hart might be the exception. He's actually fought through some injuries and played his hart (awful, I know) out. The problem is, there's no 'I' in Michigan...I mean team...and one man cannot shoulder an entire program. Mike has guaranteed a win against Notre Dame this weekend, a team that has yet to score an offensive touchdown. If that doesn't scream barn burner then I don't know what does.

For the first time ever, fans at the Big House may witness two teams walk off the field on Saturday with no actual winner. With Chad Henne riding the pine, Lloyd Carr and his defense that has given up roughly 800 points a game will have to step up to the plate against Fat Bastard's offense, led by high school standout Jimmy Clausen, who flat out refuses to affect the scoreboard in any discernible way. If/when the score is still 0-0 at the half, maybe the officials should step in and make some changes. Notre Dame's offense could try playing without the Michigan defense on the field. They could probably find the end zone, but then again I'm not so sure this would be any different than playing against the actual Michigan defense. Perhaps Michigan could play without any coaches. Just have a fat man draw up the plays on his chest in the huddle. The infamous chair pattern, stop at the nipple and turn around, etc...Lloyd could probably use the extra time for packing up the flatware.

I'm going to side with Michigan only because I would love nothing more than to see the Irish go winless this year and death is not an option.