The Gist/Counter-gist

The Gist by Rich Funk

Looking at the score, you would think that it couldn't have been much worse for the Dodgers, but considering that just before Aramis Ramirez hit his home run, Soriano AND Lee came very close to taking the ball out of the yard as well, I'm sure the Cubs could have hung a few more up on the scoreboard. Hell, they were scoring so much that the scoreboard operators "accidentally" put one of the runs up for the Dodgers. I think they just felt sorry for them.

It really is amazing to see the dugouts after the rosters expand and it looks like an overpacked clown car. Although I will say that it gets really annoying that the managers can bring in 800 different bullpen guys in the course of one inning.

I love Mark Hendrickson. I've seen him get lit up twice in person this year, and now once on TV. I can't tell which one is more fun. And I'm glad that Dodger fans can now enjoy players at first base on a popup go "Maybe I shouldn't tag up. Wait, who's in center...Juan Pierre? I'm taking this shit to third base faster than a drunken prom date!" His limp-dick arm is something you really have to see to appreciate...or hate.

Overall, a good win for the Cubs. And they did it at the same time the Brewers were pounding Houston, which means they don't scoreboard-check, or they just don't care. Both are good things.

Can I just get a picture of Mark Hendrickson in here?



Man, that's creepy.



The Counter-gist by Governor Gray Davis (edited by Nixon's severed head)

Shame Chicago, shame! Picking on poor Rocky Dennis like that. Cher will be very ticked.

Why is Mark *expletive deleted* Hendrickson still on my *expletive deleted* team? Quite a line: 0 IP 2ER. *expletive deleted* typical! Someone send a *expletive deleted* bus to splatter this *expletive deleted*.

The *expletive deleted* offense...blech. Juan Pierre doubles and steals 3rd with one out and no one can pick him up? *expletive deleted* you all. Losing to Ted "Pantywaste" Lilly is really going to stick in my *expletive deleted* craw for at least a couple weeks.

No more chance of a sweep and this sweet picture of Arnold holding a broom will have to wait.