TMS Booze Project: Gentleman Jack

August 27, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Adam Blank

Fuck the TMS Beer Project, here's the TMS Booze Project...

Beverage: Gentleman Jack

Distilled by: Jack Daniel Distillery, Lynchburg, TN

Type: "Rare" Tennessee Whiskey

Receptacle: 750 mL glass bottle (with plastic twist-off cap)

History: 4. We all know that good ol' Jack Daniel's Number 7 has been around forever, but this classier version was released in 1988. According to the Jack Daniel's propaganda department, this formula is based on Jack Daniel's attempts to double-charcoal filter the whiskey. While that story is complete bullshit, this was the first new Jack Daniel's Whiskey in over 100 years.

General Characteristics: (1 being dog urine rung out of a dirty rag, 10 being that scene in Leaving Las Vegas where Nicholas Cage is drinking the whiskey off what's her face's tits): 8. This shit's got character. It's sweet, mellow and light-bodied. I've never thought about it before, but those are also characteristics I find preferable in women. However, unlike women, Gentleman Jack only cost me $20 and didn't extract a piece of my soul. It smells like Maker's Mark, but it doesn't have the heavy, back of the throat-coating smokehouse tinge of a bourbon. Normally I WANT that, but this is the first whiskey I've had in a long time that didn't make me regret not buying bourbon instead.

Straight from the bottle: 7. It's ridiculously mellow and as smooth as Barry White's voice transplanted into a piece of velvet-lined obsidian. There's a hint of honey in there, but I don't have any elaborate metaphor for that. There's a gentle warmth to this whiskey; not like regular Jack which felt like swallowing shards of glass.

Mixibility: N/A. To be fair, I didn't try to mix even a "whiskey & coke" with this stuff. It's way too mellow to mix with anything. Mixed drinks with whiskey as the focal point need a sharpness that this particular spirit doesn't have. But who cares? Gentleman Jack is amazing out of the bottle, and probably in the sack. You have to bareback this shit.

Intoxication : 5 Perhaps the most disappointing aspect of Gentleman Jack is that it's the standard 40% alcohol. Sure, it'll get you drunk, but I truly believe this whiskey would benefit from a 5% spike in alcohol content. This would accomplish two things: 1) It would sharpen the flavor a bit, which would make it more versatile, and 2) It would make me feel better about paying 25% more for it than for regular Jack if it had a higher alcohol content.

Affordability ($ being Prestige Whiskey, $$$$ being The Ritz Side Car): $$. It was on sale for $20 at CVS. Not cheap, but not very expensive for a really decent American Whiskey.

Effect on your ability to function the next day: ?? I'm drinking Gentleman Jack while I'm writing this. Since it's the first good whiskey I've had in a month, I'm going to keep drinking it while watching the Cubs lose. Only time will tell if the hangover will take my mind off the abysmal 2009 season.