Why do I feel the need to say, “I’m sorry.” when a beggar asks me for change? You know what, I’m not sorry. In fact, “Fuck you.” I understand in these tough economic times that some people are down on their luck, but fuck you and your begging.
I had a friend once that lived in Denver and made his living by panhandling. On a bad day he made about $30, on a good day he could make up to $200. That’s more than I make for an honest (most of the time) day’s work. My friend would then go back to his studio apartment at night, go out to the bars and then order delivery when he got home. He wasn’t homeless. He wasn’t destitute. He was just really good at asking people for money and figured he could make a lot more doing that than working at McDonald’s.
I also had a friend that got a job in downtown Chicago and passed the same homeless guy every day asking for a buck or two for a sandwich. So you what she did after a couple weeks? That’s right - she made a couple peanut and butter sammies and tried to give them to him the next day. He told her to fuck off and almost physically assaulted her for “insulting” him.
You know who I like? Beggars that aren’t afraid to ask for what they want. If you came up to me and said you wanted a couple bucks for a forty I would gladly reach into my pocket and hand you a five spot. Because you were honest.
And don’t ask me for a cigarette after I might have felt giving that day and handed over the change in my pocket. You might as well ask me for a small nugget of gold while you’re at it with the price of cigarettes.
So Heilman, Miles, Jeff ND, at the beginning of next year when you’re out of job don’t even think about asking me for my spare change as I pull out of Popeye’s (like how I turned this into a Cubs post?). One of these days I’m just going to punch you beggars in the face and then stab you and take the small fortune of quarters and dime bags of crack you have in your pockets.
WelcomeWelcome to Thunder Matt's Saloon, where the beer is warm and the coverage is sketchy.
- ► 2016 (101)
- Killer Peanuts: Proving One More Time A Black Man ...
- You Make the Call
- TMS No Longer Supports Oasis
- 5 Things That Didn't Always Suck But Do Now
- SPAM Alert
- The Intern Soapbox
- Battle of Who Could Care Less: Cubs vs. Mets
- TMS Booze Project: Gentleman Jack
- Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me, Guess I'll Go...
- My Sad Little Life: A Recap
- Thunderwatch 2009: Murton Released into the Wild
- Glenallen Hill: 2009 Battle Royale Champion!
- Spare Some Change? GFY!
- Thunderwatch 2009: Murton Back in Bigs
- Movies I’m Not Looking Forward To
- Release The Meatheads!
- TMS Music: The Guilty Razors-Guilty!
- Cubs of Yore Battle Royale: The Final Battle
- Cubs of Yore: Double Dipping to the Finals
- Reduced Sugar Cereals & Why The Future Is Bleak
- Koyie Hill Appreciation Society: 41 Hits & Countin...
- TMS Roundtable: Ghostbusters.
- TMS 2009 Fantasy Football Player Rankings: IDP Edi...
- Hey Cub Fans, Try Not Giving A F&%K
- The Most Hated Man in Professional Sports
- War Criminal: Draft Bonuses
- TMS Endorses Angel Guzman
- TMS 2009 Fantasy Football Player Rankings
- Ginger Russ Drunkblog: It's Teds Day
- Summer Games: Yogging
- GFY August 17th!
- TMS Movie Review: The Warrior
- Back To School...
- TMS Premier League Preview 2009
- TMS Booze Project: Prestige Edition Whiskey
- Underrated: Working at Home
- The Pynchon Project: Mason & Dixon
- The Bachelor Diet
- Fulfilling the Esoterica Quotient: A look at Tubul...
- Hump Day Hottie: Brooklyn Decker
- Americas Gay Cowboy Sweethearts Divorce
- Cubs of Yore: The "Marginal" Edition
- Did You Know?
- "Wrigleyville" Bar Project: Richard's
- Wednesday Will Start The Real Shark Weak
- Bachelor Night with the Cubs
- R.I.P. Arena Football League 1987-2009
- TMS Beer Project: Sierra Nevada Bigfoot Ale
- The Expendables vs. Machete: Greatest Movie Ever M...
- Kubs LIVE! From The Kremlin (Delayed Broadcast)
- TMS Beer Project: Dos Equis Amber
- War Criminal: 2009 Cubs Named Aaron
- Cubs of Yore: Doug Dascenzo
- TMS Fantasy Football 2009 Rankings: Quarterback
- I Can't Drive 25
- Koyie Hill Appreciation Society: 32 Hits & Countin...
- Summer Games: Makeout Point
- Wrigleyville Bar Project: Trinity
- TMS Booze Project: 1792
- War Criminal: Specialty Reserved Parking Spots
- I'm Sorry Milton: I Meant to Say "Massive Disappoi...
- Dude, You're NOT Horrible
- Dude, You're Horrible
- Shark Week Returns!
- ▼ August (64)
- ► 2008 (517)
- ► 2007 (535)